In childhood we all believed in Santa Claus, Tooth fairy and beautiful princesses. However, adult life is not always like a fairy tale: after the wedding, we don’t become happier, the children can love their parents without any reason, and the loyalty and devotion no one appreciates.
We chert-poberi.ru plucked up courage and decided to see the ugly truths in the face. And all in order that you be ready for any turn of fate.
1. Parents unconsciously influence the choice of a partner
Psychologists say that people are unwittingly drawn to partners who are somewhat similar to their parents. Women choose a husband, which can not be distinguished from the father, and men all his life unconsciously looking for the mother. However, this applies only to those whose parents were not role models.
It used to be that we will give preference to members of the opposite sex, which is the same caring, gentle, kind, like our father or mother. However, it is just the opposite: deadbeat parents (alcoholics, violent or abandoned the family) «force» their children to choose a partner with exactly the same problems.
It would seem that in this choice there is no logic, but here the unconscious work: it just wants to heal wounds from childhood. People who contact with problem partners unconsciously seek to let go of your childish insults. However, such a relationship can be devastating and certainly from any injury does not relieve.
2. Marriage has nothing to do with happiness
According to surveys, the couple happier individuals. However, their happiness does not last long because of the effect of the honeymoon. Shortly before the wedding, and 1-3 years after it, they flutter with joy. But then the level of life satisfaction among newly married has been steadily declining and it can be compared with those of the people who have decided to live by themselves.
Scientists came to the conclusion that optimists and marriage, and outside it feel good. But personalities prone to depression, marriage will not help to get rid of problems. Moreover, in some studies it is reported that singles who have a strong rear in the form of friends and family, happy as consisting of married people.
3. The friendship is just a result of the release of hormones
In any strange or alarming situation in the blood of men is thrown out the hormone adrenaline, which provokes a reaction of «fight or flight». With women it is quite another thing: their glands begin producing the hormone oxytocin, which causes them to protect the offspring and to gather in groups for protection.
That’s why, when girls are bad, they first of all call your mom or girlfriend. And this is partly the secret to women’s longevity. Men traditionally keep their emotions in themselves, which leads to heart disease. Women, sharing grief with friends, let off steam and eventually feel better.
4. Most of the children at certain points I hate my parents (no matter how well you have educated the offspring)
Psychologists call this phenomenon «teenage Allergy to parents». On the one hand, the child already feels like an adult and independent, and on the other, are strongly attached to their parents. There is internal conflict, and the child begins to behave outwardly like hates family father and mother. And the boys prefer to leave (aside from kisses and hugs), and girls Express claims in the face and try to hurt more.
However, if the «Allergy parents» going after the people who emerged from adolescence, this is a big problem. And in its origin to blame not the older generation, and he raised the child. Psychologists say that the mother and father are responsible for the education, but are not responsible for what their offspring is in adult life.
5. Any woman who has money, can look like a star
Movie stars and glossy magazines teach us to unrealistic ideals of beauty. The desire to be like celebrities regular people leave the shops and beauty salons approximately $ 400 billion annually. However, not having in his pocket a couple of million dollars, closer to this ideal almost impossible.
The average woman spends on personal care $ 15 thousand over a lifetime, and, for example, the former «Friends» star Jennifer aniston — $ 145 thousand per year. Diet, cosmetic and other beauty treatments will not bring you to the desired way, just because the celebrity you want to resemble, several times richer than you.
6. Women who spend their entire lives waiting for a Prince to suffer a dangerous syndrome
The Cinderella syndrome — a disorder of thinking that occurs primarily in women but sometimes in men. In the presence of this deviation seems to him that his whole life is filled with anguish: at work do not respect friends don’t appreciate the whole world is against. However, Cinderella meekly endures the hardships of fate and believes that all the suffering in store for her reward.
The classic picture of the syndrome looks like this: man lives in the expectation that somewhere in the world there is a Prince charming or uncle is a millionaire, which at one stroke will solve his problem. Other options typical Cinderella seem ridiculous.
In some versions, the Cinderella syndrome occurs in people who are afraid of success and need the approval of others. For women this disorder is dangerous because it pushes them into the hands of abuzerov.
7. Childbirth change a woman’s life is not in the best way
Doctors see positive changes that make a woman almost psychic: for example, postpartum women are receptive to the feelings of others. However, the sad effects a lot more: post-traumatic stress disorder, which may come back to haunt and in a few years, and even excess weight, increase obmom hips and others.
There are also more exotic changes: for example, the increase in foot size due to softening of the ligaments and loss of teeth. The more children a woman bore, the more teeth she loses. Scientists estimate that women 35-49 years with 1 child on average lose 2 teeth for a couple of years after birth.
8. Love can’t last long
According to neuroscientists, love can be explained by a cocktail of hormones. A tumultuous mix of estrogen, testosterone, dopamine, adrenaline and oxytocin explains the «butterflies in the stomach», and sleepless nights. However, on one chemistry will not last long: over time, the concentration of the hormones drop and the pair discover that love has disappeared.
Psychologists say that the preservation of feelings will have to work hard to go on dates (even if you live together for 15 years), to share updates and more to hug each other.
9. Partner will not appreciate your devotion and obedience
Scientists estimate that the Millennials are much later enter into marriagethan their parents. And all because people finally appreciated the benefits of personal space and a woman 25 years old is not considered an old maid. However, having met «the same», we strive to be with him all the time and make a terrible mistake.
Psychologists say that the partner generally will not appreciate brought for him to sacrifice. Rather, independence is much more appealing to members of the opposite sex than exceptional devotion.
And you had to meet people who suffer from «Cinderella syndrome» or offended by their own parents?
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