The rules of life brad pitt

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Actor, Oklahoma., 56 years

I don’t like talking about me. Let’s talk about something important.Being married means I can fart right in bed. Or is there ice cream.If I had supernatural powers I would turn back the time — that’s what I would do.I have a lot of plans. I would like to have a bunch of houses on wheels. I’d like to record an album like Jennifer Lopez. But it will be an acoustic version of KC & the Sunshine Band (American disco-funk band. — Esquire). I would like to release her own clothing line. I’ll be like a Puff daddy. Only the fur is synthetic.We celebrities have to stick together. I can’t just go to the doctor and sit in the waiting room reading a magazine, I could begin to approach people. I can’t just arrive at the airport and wait for your flight — I’m just a cripple.My week is very simple: five days from seven on the tail I have got three cars with paparazzi. This arithmetic.I’m one of those people who hate on a genetic level.Once I called my grandfather. «We saw your movie,» said grandfather. «What, grandpa?» I said. And he shouted my grandmother, «Hey, Betty, what was the name of that movie that made me vomit the third day?»I firmly believe in his method: first, great in***are you forgetting [work], then great rest.I generally do not care for their own safety.I smoke. Then leave. Then again smoke. Then leave. Then again. And so again, and again, and again.With the morals I have fared not very much. I’m not keen on morality.I remember my first kiss. We agreed in school with a girl that I’ll meet you behind the garage and kiss. We were so serious, as if on some important business said. In General, I kissed her and ran home. That’s how I had my first kiss.To hear your little baby spit up is the happiest moment in my life. This is the moment from which you get the greatest pleasure.Privacy is when you can go out and sit on the porch alone. Privacy — this is when you need to take out the garbage, because it has accumulated a fucking heap, and carry him no one else.Freedom of speech? I think it’s a great thing. I think everyone should have freedom of speech. But you better just ask Angelina. She will tell you much more than I do.It is not necessary to speak about what you know nothing. So I don’t like interviews. Journalists ask me what I think about China and Tibet. Who cares what I think about this? I am a person who works with the script. I’m a grown man who surrounds himself with make-up.I’m crazy about motorcycles. Absolutely crazy. I have choppers. I have sports. I have a jumper. I have the motorcyclesassembled especially for me. All these machines is an art, as sculpture. But I don’t want to talk about it. Just admit that I have this disease. That’s all.I don’t know shit about artists. Only about sculptors. And then a little bit.Never fucking waste a bunch of money on crazy giant mattress with double padding on both sides and all sorts of other nonsense. Just go to the store and buy an ordinary flat mattress. Then buy a three-inch lining of tempura (highly elastic foam. — Esquire) and put it on top. Follow the good advice. This is the perfect dream. Bliss is guaranteed.I have never in my life spent so much time in a skirt, like on the set of «Troy». But the skirt is not so bad. Hell, they’re not nearly as bad.To get something, you have to lose something.Glory — she still b***, dudes.

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